Does your grandchild live with you? Chances are it started out as an informal agreement. You probably thought the child would stay for a short time. In the eyes of the law, the parent was still in charge. You had no legal rights or legal relationship to your grandchild. You could not make decisions for the child. You were an informal caregiver. After a while, some grandparent caregivers find that it’s hard to raise a grandchild without some legal rights or a formal legal relationship. These grandparents may have trouble enrolling their grandchildren in school. They may not be able to give a doctor permission to treat their grandchild. They worry that an unfit parent may come back and take the child away. And often they have trouble getting financial help to raise the child. To get more rights these grandparents may ask the courts to help. They may ask to change their legal relationship to the grandchildren they are raising by getting legal custody or guardianship, or they may ask to adopt their grandchildren. Other grandparents may not take those steps, but they maye find other legal options that will help.
Changing your legal relationship is a big decision. If the parents will not willingly give you legal custody, then you will need to hire an attorney and sue your grandchild’s parents in court. You will have to prove that those parents are not fit to raise their child.
You must also prove that your new legal relationship with your grandchild is the best thing for the child. This kind of legal action can tear a family apart.
Before you make any decisions, be sure to learn about the legal options that your state gives you. You may be surprised at how many options you have. You may be able to become a foster parent to your grandchild. You may be able to adopt. You might become a legal guardian or ask for custody. In some states you can fill out a simple form that lets you get some services, like medical care or school enrollment, for your grandchild. Make sure you know the difference between the options. Find out how each option will affect you and your family. Remember, each state law is different. Your legal options will depend on where you live. You may need a family law attorney to help you sort things out. Some of your legal options might include the following:
Formal Kinship Care
You might be able to raise your grandchildren in the foster care system. You will receive some financial help if you pick this option. In some states this option will give the child the most financial help. But there is a downside. The state gets legal custody of your grandchild. This means that the state makes all decisions for the child and there is a chance that the state could remove your grandchild from your care at any time. Want to know more? Call your local child welfare agency or ask an attorney.
Adoption
Adoption is a big step. A grandparent who adopts a child becomes that child’s parent. The child’s natural parents can no longer make decisions for the child. They also cannot take the child away.
Adopting a grandchild may cause you to lose types of financial help you already have. Do you get a “child-only” grant from the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program? You will lose that grant if you adopt your grandchild. On the other hand, you may be able to get support from other programs like Social Security or the federal adoption subsidy program or children with “special needs”.
Does your state have an open adoption law? If so, then you could agree to let the child’s parent stay in touch with the child. About one third of the states have an open adoption law.
- Attend a legal workshop at your area agency on aging (AAA), grandparent resource center, senior center, child welfare agency, court system or bar association.
- Ask for help at a local law library or university to find the laws that affect you.
- Ask a family law attorney to be a guest speaker at a meeting of your support group.
- Find out if the court system has any services or programs that will let you apply for legal relationships without an attorney.
- If you need to use an attorney, and can’t afford to hire one, you can find out if a law firm in your area offers “probono” or free services. You may also be able to get low-cost or free legal services through your Area Agency or Aging, legal aid clinic or a university law clinic. If you can afford it, you can hire a private family law attorney to help you. The state bar association can help you find a family law attorney in your area.
Legal Guardianship
Guardianship is different from adoption. You make some decisions for the child. But the child’s parents still have some rights. The parents could go back to court and ask the judge to end the guardianship. Some states have “permanent guardianships” which are harder to end. Your state may give financial help to legal guardians. You might get this help through a state guardianship subsidy program. Each state program is different. Most programs help children who have been in state custody. Keep in mind that in some states they have different options that are similar to legal guardianship. For example, in Texas that state has an option called “permanent managing conservatorship.
Legal Custody
Legal custody is like guardianship. But a different court grants it and it has different rules. Be aware that a “guardian” in your state may have more rights than someone who has legal custody. Make sure you find out the difference between these two options.
Other Options
What if you just want to enroll your grandchildren in school or get medical care for them? In some states, you do not need to adopt the child or become a legal guardian. In California, for instance, they have education and medical consent laws that say if a grandparent raising grandchildren completes a “caregiver’s authorization affidavit” form, then he or she can enroll grandchildren in school and/or get medical care for them. Many states have education and medical consent laws like this.
If you can afford it, you can hire a private law attorney to help you. The state bar association can help you find a family law attorney in your area.
Getting information
There are many ways to get the legal information you need. You can:
- Attend a legal workshop at your area agency on aging (AAA), grandparent resource center, senior center, child welfare agency, court system or bar association.
- Ask for help at a local law library or university to find the laws that affect you.
- Ask a family law attorney to be a guest speaker at a meeting of your support group.
- Find out if the court system has any services or programs that will let you apply for legal relationships without an attorney
- If you need to use an attorney, and can’t afford to hire one, you can find out if a law firm in your area offers “probono” or free services. You may also be able to get low cost or free legal services through your Area Agency or Aging, legal aid clinic or a university law clinic.